gaaaaah.

Life as of late:

Ian and I are working on getting ourselves a dog. I'm excited! Really! It's going to be awesome, we'll have this little Corgi pup (he insists on a puppy, I really don't care) that we're looking at... We shall name him Toast and he will be ours. Or she. It depends. Anyway, a puppy. Generally a time for good feelings all around...

But I'll admit to being a little hesitant to a dog at this point. I would really love a puppy - I've easily spent the past six months looking for one - but right now, my stress level is through the roof.

We have a friend of Ian's crashing with us. He's cool, I don't mind the guy at all, but the extra person in the apt is making it really hard to get anything clean. Things just keep getting moved around. Dishes, clothes, everything. I look around and want to clean this mess up, but there's no room, and there's never any time to clean it without him (Ian's friend) being here. And I don't necessarily think it's his job to clean up my apt. I should be doing that. But I'm really not in the mood to start cleaning (which I have before) only to take a break and then have everything wander back to how it originally was.

I want my fucking apartment clean. I'm a slob and in general a mess, but I am SO SICK OF HOW MESSY IT IS!

And here's the deal... if we're getting a puppy, I demand this place be fucking spotless. I'm not risking a dog that I make a $100 pet deposit on - plus the cost of the dog and food and everything else - choking on some random thing on the ground because the floor is too messy. I'm sorry. It's not working like that.

So tomorrow is most likely going to be a cleaning day. Maybe even tonight. I'm more of a night owl anyway, I like to clean when it's dark out. Not really sure why. Day is a time for rest. NIGHT IS A TIME FOR CLEANING.

This is a nice apartment. I think it would work best if it was just one person living here. It's not bad for two... but for three? FOR THREE FUCKING PEOPLE? There is not enough damn room.

I also think I might have finally found a place to put my comics, considering the book shelf is full and the closet is overflowing. I am quite excited for this.

But... gaaaahhh! Really! REALLY NOW! I can't have this third person in my apartment for much longer. It's been a month. The entire first month I have been in my new apartment with my boyfriend and IT HASN'T BEEN JUST THE TWO OF US LIVING HERE. Sure, Matt will go and visit his friends and stay there for a few days, but I use those days just to calm down and enjoy the alone time I don't get.

I need alone time with Ian.

I need alone time to just be with him. I'll be on my computer, he'll be on his, and together we'll just do our things for a couple hours.

I also need alone time to cuddle Ian.

I need alone time to make dinner with him.

... and to have sex with him.

In general, I just need some fucking time to actually settle in to my new apartment with my boyfriend and NOT have someone here who isn't paying rent. Or for anything. And while I don't dislike Matt, I can't keep lending him things of mine and Ian's. He's not entitled to my computer. Or to Ian's. He's not entitled to ANYTHING of ours. I don't mind sharing, I really don't, but it's beginning to drive me absolutely mad.

He won't even get food stamps. He's unemployed and currently without a place that's actually his own, and he REFUSES to get food stamps because he doesn't want to be "part of the system."

Excuse me, I WANT FOOD STAMPS. I'VE WANTED THEM FOR YEARS. I SHOULD BE ELIGIBLE. YOU ARE ELIGIBLE AND YOU REFUSE TO GET THEM. IT MAKES ME WANT TO HIT YOU IN THE FACE.

I think once I get all the boxes moved out, once I finally settle on a way to organize things, and one Matt is the FUCK out of my apartment, it will become home. Until then, we just have someone staying, and it isn't my home yet. Which frustrates me endlessly.

... I'm going to go kick something.